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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?